I'm Ready for my Pat Down Mr DeMille.

I gotta miss my traffic court, Man. I can't go through security like this.

All In the Family

[loud booming rap music playing from car, lyrics going on about crack use and getting arrested; family sitting together in the car, dad is making funny dance moves, and the toddlers are giving belly laughs] Ah, childhood memories...

Easy Peasy

Hey! I got out by 3:00 and it only cost me $400! [which begs the question: if this was exclaimed in relief, what the heck did they do?]

Give a Dawg a Bone

So I'm like, the Judge don't like the way I wrote it, see? And so I'm like, c'mon why can't the Judge help me write it? C'mon help me, Dawg! But Dawg said no.

Who'll Stop the Rain?

NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! [this, delivered at full volume and with blood curdling implication, caused me to look out my window. It was a man screaming at the rain.]